People often ask me - well, somebody did today - what my favourite cruise destination is. It's not an easy decision; I'm lucky enough to have sailed half the world and apart from Dakar in Senegal, most places have something great to offer.
I've finally bitten the bullet and put my top five cruise destinations below; feel free to comment if you agree, disagree or just want to troll me into a response!
5) Copenhagen, Denmark
The highlight is Tivoli Gardens; a wonderful place and magically lit at dusk. Avoiding sweaty teenagers and piles of vomit is much easier than in British theme parks (I'm talking to you Alton Towers) and features not only rides but great entertainment too.
The statue of Hans Christan Andersen's Little Mermaid is another popular tourist site but don't go there expecting to see a wisecracking Jamaican crab. I was bitterly disappointed on my first visit.
Finally and most impressive is Burger King (stick with me.) While I queued for my Whopper, the girl behind the counter switched from speaking Danish to German, then French and finally English. She wasn't showing off - just serving the multitude of tourists that such a great city boasts. THIS IS SOMEONE WHO WORKS IN BURGER KING. In the UK, you're lucky to find someone who has mastered English.
Danish Burger King Girl; I salute you! (but only one language.)
4) Barcelona, Spain
I don't like shopping. But seeing as some of my best friends are dancers - and serial retail therapists - I am well versed in the language of Mango, Zara and El Corte Ingles. Barcelona is the only place cool enough to allow me to enjoy buying stuff. Yes, there's great architecture, wonderful food and vibrant clubs but occasionally I need new clothes. Waiting for Barcelona to appear on the itinierary has led to some close calls (I almost ran out of underwear in the Baltics) but it's worth it. I usually stagger back up the gangway, laden with enough shirts, shorts and (purple) shoes to last another season. Plus, it's the only place I've found formal white shoes to match my Junior Officer uniform.
There's also a beach. And amazing restaurants. And Las Ramblas. Argh, I wanna go NOW!
3) Tortola, British Virgin Islands
The best beach in the world. The waves are large enough to enjoy without drowning (a dodgy moment in Costa Rica means this is important to me) and the beach bar is nearby and fully stocked. Travelling over the lush interior, Cane Garden Bay is far enough away from the docks to ensure few passengers make it. That's to say they haven't heard of it - I've never left one by the side of the road.
If gangway-taxi-beach-lunch-cocktails-beach-cocktails-taxi-ship isn't the perfect day, I don't want to know what is.
2) Cape Town, South Africa
This is a biggie. Our ship's small enough to dock at the Waterfront; a gated community of shops, restaurants, bars and fun. This isn't the real Africa but it is the place to party. Of course we ventured out; Table Mountain, vineyards and safaris are all on offer when visiting the area. The tours will take you past the shanty towns; startling glimpses behind the scenes, akin to finding yourself backstage at Disneyland. We also went out for the night to an incredibly ropy Bedouin themed club. When we told the port agent where we'd been, he nearly had a heart attack - we'd been obliviously dancing in a notorious crime hotspot.
The city also reminds me of my new favourite jokes: Where do most superheroes live? Capetown.
1) Rio De Janeiro, Brazil
Sugar Loaf Mountain, Corcovado and Copacabana; legendary places in an incredible city. Every view is an Ikea wall print and as in every cliche you've ever heard, samba music fills the air. From the portside takeaway (I'll have a McBob burger please) to the jobbing streetvendors, Rio is lively, fun and memorable. For the record, our cruise director (following many Caipirinhas) bought one man's entire stock of awful tourist t-shirts. We put them on and holdall empty, the guy joined us all for a drink. It's that kind of place.
NB. One of my best memories of Rio -and cruising in general - was the drive up to the statue of Christ The Redeemer; the whole enterainment department on a rare day off, having an impromptu 'sing off' to More Than Words by Extreme as we ascended into the sunshine. Perfect!
An honourable mention goes to London; not a regular cruise destination but a city we once docked in. Slipping up the Thames and mooring next to an office of astonished desk jockeys was a once in the lifetime experience. If only our temporary berth had proper cranes; every passenger's bag had to be remove by hand!
So what do you think? Don't forget to follow @AlexAboard on Twtter to discover where I'm off to next. What's your favourite cruise destination?
DRUGS! PHONE HACKING! BAVARIAN SLICES!
Upcoming novel Spotted features all of the above and some other things...
Set in the enticing world of celebrity and popular culture, Spotted tells the tale of Alex Gaines; a cruise ship entertainer whose life suddenly hits the rocks. Ironically, it is only then that his career starts to set sail.
As his profile rises, Alex struggles to adjust to his new found fame and come to terms with his (totally legal) addiction to prescription drugs. His is a journey to top that of any X Factor contestant; culminating with a moment more explosive than Simon Cowell could ever manufacture.
I'll be updating this blog with Spotted news as it happens or you could follow me (@mrjamesmccann) on Twitter for the latest.
If you have questions or want more information about Spotted, please email info@spottednovel.com
Welcome aboard!
Upcoming novel Spotted features all of the above and some other things...
Set in the enticing world of celebrity and popular culture, Spotted tells the tale of Alex Gaines; a cruise ship entertainer whose life suddenly hits the rocks. Ironically, it is only then that his career starts to set sail.
As his profile rises, Alex struggles to adjust to his new found fame and come to terms with his (totally legal) addiction to prescription drugs. His is a journey to top that of any X Factor contestant; culminating with a moment more explosive than Simon Cowell could ever manufacture.
I'll be updating this blog with Spotted news as it happens or you could follow me (@mrjamesmccann) on Twitter for the latest.
If you have questions or want more information about Spotted, please email info@spottednovel.com
Welcome aboard!
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